


Memories of Christmas

by gingergallifreyan



Series: The Time Lord and the Goddess of Time [4]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Childhood Friends, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 13:12:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13147434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingergallifreyan/pseuds/gingergallifreyan
Summary: One and Rose are childhood friends and meet occasionally as they are growing. However, they cannot remember they’ve met, except for when they see each other again.





	Memories of Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Sort of a Soulmates thing? Probably the most soulmate-y thing you’ll get out of me. And because I wanted my own two Doctor Christmas special, lol. 
> 
> Takes place after Chapter 4 of One Heart, One Life. It’s not necessary to have read any of the works in the series, though there is some tie-in at the end.

“Thete?” A door creaked. “Thete, are you in here?”

A little boy sniffled and wiped his nose, curling in on himself on the pile of hay in the corner of the barn.

“Theta Sigma, I have been looking everywhere for you.”

He curled up even more when the hay behind him shifted and a hand gently laid on his side.

“Why are you lying out here in the barn, my boy?”

“The others laughed at me today.” He sniffed again.

“Why did they laugh at you, Thete?”

“I made a Christmas tree out of my Roentgen bricks and told everyone, ‘Happy Christmas.’”

“And?”

“And then they laughed at me and called me ‘human.’” The taunts replayed in his mind: _Theta’s human, Theta’s human!_ He sobbed.

She caressed his dark hair. “Oh, Thete. I am so sorry.”

“Why am I different, Mother?”

“Rassilon only knows, child. You always have been different. But, Thete, I like humans. It’s not so bad to be compared to one. That is a title of honor.”

He sighed. “I know. That’s why you teach me about them.”

“And why?”

He rattled off his reply as if he’d heard it numerous times. “They’re clever and brilliant. They can think of ways to solve problems we cannot. They are full of joy because they have only one life.”

She chuckled. “You say that as if it is a problem.”

“Everyone else on this planet seems to think so.”

“That is the point. The Time Lords…” She sighed. “I will not go there. I want you to see for yourself and make your own decisions. Theta, I will be proud of you if you graduate from the Academy and put your skills to use in the Citadel. That is the path of many on Gallifrey. But I think you were meant for more.”

He blinked. “Do you mean I could be on the High Council someday, like you?”

She smiled. “I’m sure you could be if that’s what you want to work for, but that’s not what I mean.”

“What, then?”

“You are different because Time wishes you to be. Time requires you for a different purpose.”

“What could that even be?”

“Time will only tell.” She stroked his hair again. “Alright, Thete. I have a surprise for you, and then it’s time for sleep. You haven’t had your sleep time for nearly a month, and brilliant Time Tots like you need their rest.”

He rubbed his eyes. “I don’t want to sleep, Mummy. I’m not sleepy.”

“Now I know you need your rest. You don’t call me that unless you’re tired.”

“But I’m not tired!”

“Humans have a saying. Would you like to hear it?”

His eyes lit up. “Yes!”

“They say, ‘You can sleep when you’re dead.’”

His eyes fell. “I can’t imagine having only one life.”

“It has its advantages.”

“But you die and that’s it? You don’t change?”

“For a Time Lord, that might seem limiting, but as a human, you get to be who you are for your whole life. When you regenerate, you become a completely new person. Who you are at your core remains the same, but on the surface, how you interact with that core is what changes. It’s like you become a completely new person. Who you are dies and a new person walks away.”

“Oh. So if you like yourself, you wouldn’t be able to stay who you are. I see now.”

“Only in the direst of emergencies would that be different.”

“And since you know you live a really long time, it’s like things don’t matter as much. What do you have to live for?”

“Yes.”

He sniffed. “Humans aren’t as bad as everyone says.”

“They’re not.”

“How do you know all this, Mother?”

“I’ve had to travel as part of my duties on the Council.”

“Will I get to travel someday?”

“There’s a whole universe out there waiting on you when you’re ready for it. Do you want your surprise now?”

“What is it?”

“Christmas cookies.”

“Christmas cookies?”

“Yes. Some humans have the tradition of baking and decorating Christmas cookies.” She stood and held out her hand. “Come on.”

“Will Brax help?”

“Irving thinks he’s too old for such nonsense.”

He swung their hands as they walked. “What’s the use in being grown up if you can never be childish?”

“Never forget that, Theta Sigma.”

In their home, a little boy and his mother spent hours mixing, rolling, and cutting festive shapes out of cookie dough. When they were baking, the boy stared in the window of the oven and complained as he impatiently waited for the shapes to harden into proper cookies. Then he complained some more when they had to wait for the cookies to cool. The little boy laughed as his mother put a dab of icing on the tip of his nose. He wiped it off and licked it from his hand. His eyes went wide. “If humans get to eat something like this every Christmas, I don’t want to be a Time Lord!”

—

Theta gazed at his surroundings. He found himself on a beach, the wind whipping through his hair. To his left were massive cliffs and to his right was the ocean. He must be dreaming, because only a moment ago, he’d been in his bed, closing his eyes and drifting off to rest.

He started walking up the beach for a moment, and then he heard a sniffle. He turned to investigate and found a small girl sitting on the sand, her head in her hands. “Why are you crying?” he asked.

The girl looked up in surprise. She blinked her brown eyes, sniffed, and wiped her nose on her pyjama sleeve. “Who are you?”

“My name is Theta Sigma, but you can call me Thete. What are you called?”

“Rose Tyler.”

“Why are you crying, Rose Tyler?”

“My daddy, he can’t be here.”

“Why not?”

“He’s gone. I don’t have a daddy.”

“What happened to him?”

“He died when I was a baby. All the other kids at school get to spend their Christmas with their daddies and I can’t.” Her face twisted and she buried her head in her arms.

His hearts broke for her. He sat next to her on the sand. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

“You celebrate Christmas?”

Her brows furrowed. “Of course I do. Doesn’t everybody?”

”I don’t, but my mother and I made Christmas cookies earlier. They were delicious. I want to eat cookies every day.”

She smiled. “Me, too. Would you like to make a sandcastle?”

“Sandcastle?”

“You don’t know what a sandcastle is?”

“No, I’ve never made one.”

She wrinkled her nose. “You’re weird.”

“Show me what a sandcastle is?”

“Okay!”

As quickly as he took her offered hand, he dropped it and gazed at her. “You… you only have one heart.”

“Of course I do. Who doesn’t?”

“Are you human?”

“That’s a silly question.”

“I’m not human. You’re human.”

“What are you if you’re not human? You look human.” She looked him over.

“I’m Gallifreyan. We have two hearts.”

“Let me feel!” She placed her hand on his chest. “There’s one.”

“Move to the left now.”

“There’s another heart! You’re really weird.”

He grinned, his blue eyes twinkling. “I’ve never had a human friend. This is amazing!”

“I’ve never had a Galli… Gallifedan… what did you call it?”

“Gallifreyan.” His chest puffed up. “From the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous, the Shining World of the Seven Systems.”

“So you’re an… alien or something?”

“Is that alright?”

“Yeah. You’re not green, though.”

“Lots of species aren’t.”

She blinked. “O…kay.”

“You don’t believe me? I wish I could show you, but we’re in a dream, I think.”

“Is that where this is?”

“I believe so. Anyway, can you show me that sandcastle now?”

She grinned. “Yeah. Let’s go!” She took his hand and ran towards the waterline for damper sand and the tools that had mysteriously appeared.

—

When Theta woke, he didn’t remember the little girl from his dream, but he did ask to go to the beach by the lake.

They did, however, remember each other when they met the next few times on the beach when he slept.

Then they did not see each other again for some time.

—

Years later, Theta Sigma was taller and his hair was longer. He was a bright young student, full of promise… and mischief, the bane of Borusa’s existence. He and his best mate Koschei were dynamite together, a real pair that would go down in infamy at the Academy. If they weren’t hacking into the Academy network and sending out bogus campus-wide announcements, it was blowing up the laboratories while trying to create new elements. They were lucky they hadn’t needed one of their regenerations yet.

Theta, while ignoring his studies for a final exam by reading _A Christmas Carol_ by that bloke Charles Dickens, was overwhelmed with the sudden urge to sleep. He let the book rest on his chest and surrendered.

He was on the beach again. He grinned and glanced around, and Rose was speeding towards him on a red bicycle.

“Look out!” she called as she nearly ran into him.

He jumped aside and watched as she circled around him.

She put on the brakes and hopped off the bike. “Theta!” She ran to him and enveloped him in a big hug.

He laughed. “Rose, hello. It’s been some time.”

“Yes it has. I’m twelve now. Look at my bike!” She took his hand and walked him over to it.

“That’s nice.” He marveled at the red paint and crouched to examine the gears. “Is it Christmas for you?”

“Yeah. Somebody left this for me. My mum and I can’t imagine who. It was nice of them, though. She was gonna have a hard time with gifts this year.”

“Father Christmas, then, I suppose.”

She grinned. “Yeah. Mum said I couldn’t ride it because it’s too cold outside, but maybe it’s alright to ride it here on the magic beach in my dreams. How old are you now?”

He took her in for the first time. Her smile had grown wider, her features more defined, her light brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, bangs covering her forehead. She was… pretty, he considered.

“Theta?”

“Ehm, sorry. I’m sixty years old.”

“You don’t look it. You don’t look older than me.”

“I suppose it would be considered a similar age. Time Lords don’t age as fast as humans. Binary vascular system and all that.”

“What now?”

“Two hearts, remember?”

She smiled. “Yeah. Wanna ride up the beach?”

“I don’t have a bicycle.”

“Yeah you do! Turn round.”

He did, only to find a matching bike of his own. “A ride down the magic beach indeed.” Her laughter turned his head.

“I’ll race you!” She was several paces away already.

He got off to a shaky start, but his body eventually caught onto the concept. He beat her, but only just barely, thanks to his respiratory bypass.

He’d laughed plenty of times with his friend Koschei, but the laughter he had on the beach with Rose felt different. It even felt different than the one he’d used with his mother. This laugh came from somewhere deep inside him. Rose was his true friend, someone with whom he could be himself. He wasn’t sure what power in the universe had brought them together, but he didn’t question it. Some things, he was learning, were best left unexplained.

They met a few more times in their dreams, and then just as before, it was some time before they would meet again.

—

Theta, nearly 90 years old now, taller and more handsome, stood on the all-too familiar beach of his dreams. His hearts perked up in hope and he glanced around for his friend. Now that he’d remembered her, he realized how much he’d missed her. She was behind him, turned away, definitely taller than her twelve-year old self, and her hair was curly now.

“Rose.” He reached out to touch her shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” She turned and flinched away from him. Her eyes shot to the ground. “I’m sorry, Theta. I thought you were someone else.”

“Rose? Are you alright?”

She turned her head into her shoulder and breathed as if her chest were tight.

“Rose,” he said softly. He stepped towards her. “Rose, what’s wrong? Look at me.” He slowly reached for her chin, lifting it. Notably, her eyes still refused to meet his, and her cheek was red. “What’s this?”

Her chin wobbled and her lips turned down.

“Are you hurt?”

She breathed in sharply and her eyes closed, tears spilling over.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him as she sobbed into his chest.

“I did something stupid, Theta,” she managed to get out.

“Tell me.”

“I met this… guy and dropped out of school for him. I left my mum.”

“How does that justify someone hurting you?”

“It was stupid of me. I should have listened to her, my mum. She told me he was bad news.”

“Tell me again, how does that justify someone hurting you?”

“Because I’m stupid. I’m nothing but stupid.”

“That is not true.”

“It has to be, because look where I am.”

“You’re on a beach with me. It’s only you and me right now. Who did this to you?”

“It doesn’t matter because you’re not here. You’re only in my dream.”

“I’m real, Rose. As real as the air you breathe and the sun on your skin.”

“I’ll wake up and forget I ever saw you. It happens every time.”

He pulled back and cupped her jaw, kissing the red spot on her cheek. “Does that feel real to you?”

Her eyes filled with tears again as she nodded.

“You are worth more than this. You deserve so much better.”

They stood together in silence for a long time until she sighed. “Would my mum take me back, do you think?”

“From what you’ve told me, I wouldn’t expect anything less of her.”

“I was afraid for a moment you’d judge me.”

“I could never. You’ve become my greatest friend, even if I only see you every few decades.”

She laughed a little.

He lifted her chin again and smiled at her. The light had returned to her eyes.

She sniffed. “How old are you now?”

“Ninety. Still a child, according to my people.”

“Sixteen. Same, I guess.” She searched his face. “You look a little like Tom Hiddleston.”

“Who is that?”

“He’s an actor.”

“Is he any good?”

“I suppose, yeah.”

“Good. Wouldn’t do to look like him if he were rubbish.”

She laughed again. “I suppose not.” Her eyes fell. “I just… wish I wouldn’t have made this dumb mistake.” She buried her face in his chest. “I wish you were here. I always feel safe when I’m with you.”

That tore at him. He was angry that he could not protect her. He’d wake up and forget she even existed. He held her even tighter.

Since when did he ever feel this instinctual drive for anyone? This overwhelming need to be near another being?

Rose must be… she couldn’t, could she? If she were, that would explain why they’d been meeting in dreams. He’d heard legends, that the bond between mates can echo back through time. How was it possible to be bonded to a human, though? And why a human? Their lifespans would be horribly mismatched. What kind of cruel trick was the universe playing on him?

Even still, to be mated with her, this incredible person… what a gift. “Rose, do you believe in — what’s that word you lot would use? Beings that are destined to be together?”

“Soulmates?”

“Yes, that’s it. I think we are soulmates.”

Her eyes widened. “You do?”

“I believe time has bound us together somehow. Someday, we’ll find each other, and we will bond, and echoes of it have trickled back to us at various times in our lives. And that means I will find you, Rose. I promise. I will find you.”

“Will I know you when I see you? Since I can’t remember you outside of my dreams.”

“I don’t know. You’re human, so you’re telepathically incompatible, or at least you should be, which begs the question of how we’ve been able to meet at all. Not all bonds work the same way. Some do know upon visual connection. We’ll just have to wait and see, but we will be together someday, mark it. You won’t have to forget when you open your eyes. I’ll be right there with you, and I will never let anyone harm you again. I, Theta Sigma, promise you this. You have my word.” He kissed her forehead.

She breathed slowly. “Do I need to make some sort of promise?”

“Get yourself out of there, away from him. I want you safe, my Rose.”

“I promise, Theta. And Happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas, Rose.”

When he woke up, he was strangely filled with the desire to save and protect, to heal… much like, well, a doctor. And he felt the urge to travel like never before. He needed to find something, a star perhaps.

Perhaps after he completed his first visit to the Medusa Cascade, he’d take a small holiday from the Academy.

—

They met on that beach again, but not in a dream. This was a nightmare. The wind whipped through her hair, and she was unbearably cold, he could see. How he wished he could hold her one last time, but he was merely an image to her. It was a sight that would haunt him, the disappointment on her face when he told her she couldn’t touch him and he couldn’t break through to reach her.

If there was any being in the universe he would have wanted to share a bond with, she was the one.

He’d married on Gallifrey, had a family, and she’d been pleasant, a friend and ally. He hadn’t been miserable, but deep down he knew she wasn’t… he’d never found what he’d been looking for, not in all his travels in his youth. He never asked for it, but he’d been forever grateful when his partner gave him permission to leave with their granddaughter. She’d told him he always had this look, as if he were beyond the twin suns in the sky. He didn’t belong there, and everyone acknowledged that fact except him.

He bitterly rued the time he’d spent being afraid Rose would reject him for what he’d become after the War. Then he’d been afraid of having to live on without her. How could he have been so stupid? The heartache would have been worth it for her.

—

They met on that beach a final time. He’d leave her behind with… well, himself. That part-human man was him, the Doctor, to be sure, and perhaps they’d finally be able to share a bond. He still retained some of his fully Time Lord capabilities.

But that man wasn’t him. He’d still have to live on without her. Time and the universe were cruel mistresses.

—

Their first Christmas together had arrived in Pete’s World. His gift to her was a bond with him, more than just a telepathic connection that would end when they parted. This was something far more permanent and irrevocable. 

They both gasped as his mind intertwined with hers. They were connected now, both in body and soul. This was all he’d craved for over nine hundred years of his life, and he was _home._

He cried as he rocked into her. Memories came flooding back, all the times they’d been together on the beach. He stopped and kissed her fiercely.

“Doctor,” she whispered. “Doctor, do you remember?”

“Yeah,” he choked out. “Yeah, I do.”

“It was you. I knew… there was always something more out there for me. Somewhere I… forgot.” Fresh tears fell.

He wiped her cheek. “Rose, don’t cry.”

“But you found me, just like you’d promised.”

“I did. I was always searching. For what, I never knew. And then I met you, and being with you was… I didn’t need to run anymore.”

_“I’ll tell you what I do need, Theta Sigma.”_

He grunted and thrust into her a few times. “Oh, gods, say my name again, you brilliant woman.”

She gasped. “You heard that?”

_“It’s the bond. We’ll have to work on your skills.”_

She wrapped her legs around his hips. “The only skills I need right now is your ability to wield your manhood, Mr. I’m Far More Alpha.”

Without warning she clenched around him and cried out. “What was that?” she panted when she recovered.

“I don’t need to wield my manhood to drive you mad.”

“Was that telepathy or something?”

“Yeah. I can touch you in-” he cleared his throat, “deeper ways now.”

“That was… impressive.”

“I know.”

“Shut up, you cheeky arse!” She laughed, but her laughter was swallowed by his lips on hers and they were lost in each other all over again.

When all was said and done, she nuzzled her nose in his cheek. “Happy Christmas, Doctor Theta Sigma.”

“Happy Christmas, Rose Tyler. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Just like you promised.”

He hummed and waited until her breathing slowed. He’d run some scans in the morning, but as far as he could tell, it was the work of the Bad Wolf all over again. He smiled to himself; that one action of hers, momentarily bonding with the TARDIS, changed not only her life, but also his in innumerable ways. He didn’t think his Goddess of Time would ever cease to amaze him, and he wondered if the Bad Wolf had any surprises left in store for them, more memories and treasures to uncover as they continued in their one life together.


End file.
